Well, this is obviously about my father. I prefer to call him "Father". The reason for this is that a father is one who provides for his child. A dad is one who treats his child with love, respect and kindness. I seldom receive that from him - Therefore, he is my father. Also, I've always felt that I've been in the shadow of my little sister. She's pretty, popular, smart, and athletic. I am none of these. He treats her like a princess and me like Cinderella. I feel like he never wanted me to be born.
I lie awake at night
And converse with the darkness.
We discuss many things,
The blackness and I.
We had an interesting conversation
The other night.
I have been wondering lately
What it would be like
To be someone other than me.
If I were more like her,
Would you still Hate me?
If I weren't like me,
Would you realize that you produced two?
Could you know that we are equal,
Although not the same?
Could you be that open-minded?
Doubtful.
Is it possible for you to see me
As the woman I've become,
Rather than the girl
You once knew?
I've overcome many obstacles,
Climbed many mountains,
Achieved many dreams;
But still you refuse to respect me.
You tell me that I'm worthless,
That I won't amount to much.
You call me a loser
I Cannot take it any longer!
I will fight back this time.
But am I Strong enough
To fight that which makes me weak?
No.
I will continue to let you belittle me
And treat me like a fool,
Like I am merely a stepping stone
On your path of destruction.
You tell me to respect you
But how can I respect a man
Who doesn't respect himself?
I can't honor and obey you
Like a true DAD should be treated.
Because in these past seventeen years,
You have never been a "Dad" to me.
You are only my guardian, my provider -
Not my Dad.
You've provided me with the basics,
What I need now is for you to help me;
Love, Laugh, be Free,
Live every moment to the Fullest.
Until you can fulfil that need,
I will let the darkness
Heal my wounded soul,
Because you never learned how.
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(c) 1999 Jessie Duebler Please respect the rights of the author and Passions in Poetry. If you would like to use this poem on your own web page, please contact the Author. Thank you.
This was a wonderful poem. I was suprised how someone could feel the exact same feelings that I am.
Nicole
I loved this. I could really relate. When I read the description it almost brought tears to my eyes. "A huge difference between being a father and a "Dad". I'm 14 currently, 15 in Januaury and I can never once remember my father being my "Dad". Anyways, thanks for sharing with me and millions of other people here. Be strong, always.
claudia
this is a very good poem because it reminds me of my brother in jail for 8 years.
Yani
You Go Girl! I definitely feel every word that is in this poem you have stole my thoughts right from me! You have a beautiful spirit. Yani
marianna
this poem is exactly what i have wanted to say for so long, yet could never express. this poem express those feelings.
Kristina
Jessie, I know how you feel; perhaps sperm donor would be better than father? That's how it is in my case. Good luck with that wounded soul of yours, I'm 17, & it still hasn't healed. K
Kortnie
that poem rocked! i feel the same exact way with my father and all. your poem summed up my feelings so well, when i try to write a poem about that i just cant cuz i get so mad and emotional it turns into a mess of cuss words LOL you are very talented :)
DANIKKA
Wow this is probably the best poem I haveread on here yet. I would never call my father dad. He remains my sperm donor. Sometimes, father. So I can relate. Thank you.
Blue
Nice but a sad poem.
Kaccandra
This poem really touched my heart. I didn't think anyone felt the sameway I do until I read your poem, It's nice to know that I a not alone.
aks
i liked this poem because it has touched my heart, my thoughtsand my life on the whole as a teenager. its really hurting when parents compare and differentiate.
Sarah
Jessie, I absolutely LoVe your poem. Its so powerful and touching. For so long I have felt the same way as you and never got the courage to express my feelings bout it. You have that courage to step it up and really tell it like it is. I appreciate your work so much. It explains my feelings from head to toe. right on the nail. Its an excellent poem and I wish I had enough courage to write about those types of things and just tell them to the public. I do it alone and in my own little notebook where no one can see. You are an amazing poet and I adore your poem. GREAT WORK!
Mari
exctly how I feel.
Dayline
Very nice poem, sad one too. Good luckand Thank You.
michael
i cried and cried I am a father and I think I have done the same thing
emilee
jessie i absolutly love the poem i am using it to do a poem assigment in my speech class. We had to find a poem to reflect our lifes and this one made me cry when i read it because its so close to perfect in desribing mine my story is only different in the fact that mine is a big brother I hope you learn to cope with the pain as i have and i know sometimes it may seem hard but the darkness can heal a wounded soul aventually and what hurts us omnly makes us stronger and them weaker. Just remember it is his lose in life not yours because you dont need someone like him.
Jennifer
This poem reminded me of my brother. and I'm really close to him. so he tells me these exact same things. I Love this poem. it's GREAT!
jen
I have two older sisters and my mother seems to favor them, treat them like there perfect although i see them as screw-ups she treats me like as if i didnt even matter. I wish i was never born when i have to hear all the harsh things she always says to me. She acts as if nothing i do will ever please her no matter how hard i try, i would give anything to hear her say for the very first time that she is proud of me. prehaps she hates me beacause when i was born she almost died.
courtney
I love your poem. It had a total affect on me. Im living with that problem also so i no where you are coming from.
chris
my g/f is going threw the same thing great poem i love to right and seeing others who write makes me feel less like an outcast when i write everyone keep it up!
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