This is a little something that I wrote to my dad when I was really confused on life and growing up. At the time I had wrote this I was a senior in high school and contemplating on whether or not to drop out or not. This poem to my dad was just kind of a way to talk to him, like I have never before and it opened up a lot of new doors that allowed my feelings that I had been keeping trapped inside to finally come out. Somehow, this poem allowed me to tell him things that I was so confused on and made me feel a lot better about myself.
I know that this is not your typical poem, but I would just like it on the Internet so that teenagers that have the same feelings can know that they are not alone.
|by Nikki Moone|
I'm beginning to understand life less and less everyday. When I was
young, I use to believe that I had actually had the world all figured out,
but now, as I grow, I know that having the world all figured out is
virtually impossible because I now realize that I will never understand
even the simplest things that life has to offer, like why people love who
they love, and why people fight with the ones they love the most.
People use to tell me that I was going to go places, that I was the one
that was actually going to be somebody . . . that somebody that my parents
never were, that somebody they long for me to be, and that somebody I have
always dreamed of becoming, not just to satisfy myself but also to satisfy
my family and those around me. Now it is as if my life has taken a 360
degree turn around the sharpest corner of life. I am so confused on
everything. I am now beginning to question all of my goals and
aspirations in life that I had once set for myself. Life is getting too
complicated for me, I'm to the point where I am just living day by day,
completely careless to those around me. Though I feel as if I have
everything in life that a girl could ask for - I have a lot of friends,
family, and a boyfriend that cares for me greatly, I feel more alone than
I ever have before. I just have this emptiness inside of me, and I don't
know how to fill it.
I say that I am in love, but who really knows what love is?
I guess I'm just another crazy teenager, taking one long ride on
the Roller Coaster of life. Where and when will this roller coaster stop?
Nobody knows, not even myself, all I know is I am ready to get off now.
Some days I just wish that I could be totally oblivious to the world and
other days I long for people to be around me.
I use to be a very caring person, I would do anything for anyone but now
it's as if I have no cares, and now worry about what people will think of me
if I don't do what is expected.
I have stopped living by what other people think of me and I have started
living how I want to live. I no longer act like the person I am not, I
show my true colors and many do not like them. Maybe that is why I am so
confused . . . I don't know who to satisfy, myself or the people that care
I don't think that I will ever understand this roller coaster and why I was
chosen to take this ride, right now I don't know if it will ever even come
to a complete stop, but until it does I guess I will just keep feeling
this way inside.