A weight falls heavily upon me -
A steady pull inside my brain.
In one room I seek love and understanding -
In another I purge the guilt and pain.
My guilt never leaves.
The pain only deepens.
My life is a wild rotation from one room to the other,
Locked in a ceaseless circle of torment -
A game of chess I cannot win.
I stand up, throat on fire, head spinning, heart pounding;
Begging for an end, any end, to this hell.
I gaze into the mirror, wiping my mouth,
Wondering who I have become;
A drawn and pale face, dull, expressionless eyes.
I run my hands through my hair
Hoping it will quiet the screams in my head -
But it doesn't, and tomorrow the game will start again.
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(c) 1999 Emilith Please respect the rights of the author and Passions in Poetry. If you would like to use this poem on your own web page, please contact the Author. Thank you.
i really like this poem. it touched me on a personal note because for almost 3 years, it was my life. i could picture everything, my bathroom, the mirror that i too looked into, but i never saw any difference. and my bathroom still does that to me, but i think that if it didnt, id still be there. id still be the person who i was. thanx for writing this.
nicole
this poem is great n i currently suffer from anerexia so i no wat its like to feel all those emotions n i just think its great that some1 can rite it all down n put it out there so people can hear it n no there not alone in it.
heather
awesome poem. i understand how you feel. i`ve been struggling with an eating disorder since 7th grade im now in 10th. it helps to know im not alone. keep up the good work. :)
Marni
This is a poem that touched me, when I was a teenager I had a friend who struggled with a eating disorder and it just killed me to see her in souch pain.
Puthumile
i had an eating disorder and i have to say that this is a very powerful poem. i wish more people would write on the subject. Thank you for what you have done.
G
wow this was really an amazing poem. even though i don't have an eating disorder, i could really feel your pain as i saw it through your eyes.
Margaret
I rate this poem very highly My friend was subject to an eating disorder and she tells me how she feels and this poem helped me to understand a little more of what she was going through
sarah
The misery of an eating disorder is captured here in this poem, a day to day struggle with food "the enemy"
val
I was very touched by your poem. this has been my life for 23 years. it never ends.
sarah
this is a piece of art. a good use of words. she did a very good job at opening the thoughts of this torment poetically.
Linda
Great writing! My daughter has done this since she was 14 years old. She is now 38. I have become resigned to the fact it may never stop. Nothing anyone says or does makes any difference. Thank you for writing about the viscious circle that starts again tomorrow!
Kerry
THIS IS A REALLY GOOD POEM
karina
This poem describes exactly how the real thing is. I don't think it could be put into better words. Living with a disorder is a very stressful thing that is hard to recover from.
Pamela
i just wanted to let you know that you are so not alone in all of this.
Rachel
Wow. I have a friend who this poem really fits. I always think of her when I read this. Thank you alot.
kelly
i felt your poem i once had a eating disorder but i got help and now i am happy
Lora
This poem, ah, it left me speechless. You captured the thoughts in my own head so perfectly, bringing tears to eyes that don't usually cry. Thankyou.
kylie
i absoluly love this poem my best freind has a nd eating disorder but is getting help since it was not so far into it she is going to be fine and is almost back to a healthy weight thank you for caring
Leah
i cried after i read this. every line of this poem is so real and so true and after reading the other comments. why do we do this to ourselves??
chell
As one who has battle with bulemia and anorexia for years I understand the pain. I pray everyday that soon my battle will end and the chains will be broken.
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