About the Poem
This poem describes the terrible sense of loss I felt when the man I loved walked out of my life. It takes you through a journey which describes how joy turned to pain and loss. This was the last time I wrote to him, before I finally had to accept that I should let go, it was a farewell.
This poem is dedicated to the memory of my sister, who never grew old enough to experience this kind of pain.
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Crazy Holding On
|by Mandy Turner|
Once there was a man who had an orange shirt.
Once there was a girl who went out dancing in a skirt.
Once there was a park they found they fed the frantic ducks.
Once there was a couple, happy, who couldn't believe their luck.
Once they went out dancing, and a candled dinner date.
Once early in the morning she surrendered to her fate.
Once he said "I love you" and she had to love him too.
Once they had a future, happy when one and one made two.
Now they are both lonely, now they live alone.
Now he has a cold and empty (tidy) hollow home.
Now she has a fountain, tears where once there was a heart.
Now he has decided that they really have to part.
Now that he has nothing, he feels he is complete.
Now that she can't dance again, her heart weighs down her feet.
Now he thinks about her, all the memories locked away.
Now he tries so hard to forget the happy laughing days.
Is she thinking of him still? Does she cry still, now and then?
Is she ever going to win back the man she loves again?
Is he glad it's over? Can he get on with his life?
Is he really so very certain she would have made a useless wife?
Given all the laughter, fun and sunny times they had.
Given all the heartache, lies and times he made her mad.
Given all the tears now, the loneliness and pain.
Given all the risks, would she do it all again?
Can he really say that he won't want her back one day?
Can he really like his life now better in this way?
Can he forget her face, the mess, the giggles and the love?
Can he find someone else to love him more than she could love?
If she really loved him, he said she'd let him go.
If he understood her feelings then he would know that it's not so.
If he were less stubborn, if she could care much less.
If they had never spoken there wouldn't be this sorry mess.
But time has taken prisoners, their lives are now entwined.
But even if they never meet again, the past is not left behind.
But can she start all over? Just forget him and move on?
But even if she can, will he be glad with what he's won?
Is that really what he wants, to never see her smiling face again?
Will it make him happy, will he live on without pain?
Will he be thinking of her, is he too proud to cry?
Will it wrench his heart in two if he sees her kiss another guy?
And can she forgive his faults, and accept him as he is.
She wants to have him back and say there's nothing to forgive.
He's told her that she's crazy, that he may never want her back.
She's told him that she loves him and though its a risk, she'll live with that.
She wants him to live with patience, to give him time to heal.
The past is not yet over and it's left a scar so real.
We don't choose who we can love, and love doesn't really die.
You can find it in your heart again, I love you, so please try.