This is the second in a series of three poems written shortly after the loss of my two closest friends - one in a deadly twist of fate and the other by a cruel betrayal. Unable or unwilling to confide in my husband and the other people who loved me, I withdrew into a world of my own making. This poem was written for them.
I retreat into a world of calm
A world created out of desperation
and cowardice
I'm all alone in my reality
There will be no betrayal
or abandonment,
for I'll never let you in
I float on a cloud of disinterest as
your offers of help go unanswered
In my world I need no one
No lovers, no friends,
no higher power
My world would only frighten you
Beneath the placid calm of
consciousness lies an underworld
of bitterness, rage, mistrust
Madness awaits
Leave me alone on my cloud of calm
and I may come back to you
Push me and I'll fall
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(c) 1999 Jennifer L. Please respect the rights of the author and Passions in Poetry. If you would like to use this poem on your own web page, please contact the Author. Thank you.
