Not really a poem. More of a poetic story about how I met a wonderful girl who brought me out of my protective walls. She is my best friend, but now I've fallen in love with her. Sadly, she does not share the same feelings for me. And she may never be willing to. So I wait outside the walls of her heart hoping against hope that one day she will let me in.
I wrote this for her but I have not yet shown it to her. Maybe I never will.
I once lived in a city. It was a strong, safe city. It had high walls around it built in earlier times to fend off frequent attackers. The walls were strong ones and I maintained them in order to keep myself safe from hurtful things. I can't say I felt safe in my strong city but it was as close as I could get.
But I was alone in my city. My city had become a prison for me. The same walls which I had built to keep out pain had also kept out good things. The things that make life worth living. While I was relatively safe in my city, I was besieged in a prison of my own making. Yet I continued maintenance on my walls. I chose the safety of a prison rather than face the dangers that lay on the outside.
Even after there were no more attacks, no more attackers, I kept up my city's walls. Then one day I heard of another city. A traveler from another city had gained my trust and I gave her admittance to my city. It was the first real company I had had in a very long time. Time after time my traveler friend returned. I soon began to lose interest in my walls. It's amazing how fast they fell when I forgot about them. I don't know if my traveler friend thought it strange to find the walls around my city coming down. I myself did not notice. I enjoyed her company so much that my walls did not even cross my mind.
I wondered what sort of city it was that my traveler friend hailed from. It was then that I realized that my walls had come completely down. They were beyond repair and I did not wish to build them up again. So I left my once strong city and set out to find that other city from where my traveler friend had come. The place where I for some reason had begun to believe I could be safe and yet not alone.
It was not a long journey. I soon reached the city I was looking for. I don't know what I expected to see when I reached that city. But what a sinking feeling I had when I stood before the city and found it surrounded by high walls probably as strong and solid as mine had been. I could not get in.
I can not go back, for the old city cannot ever be home again. So I wander outside the other city. I still talk to my traveler friend and I try to glean from the things she says a picture of what the city must be like. But how I long to be in that city. To have the walls open their gates for me. To have a city to be at home in once more.
And hopefully to be better off than I was before. I know what I left behind and I do not miss it nor do I feel the least bit of longing to return. So I wait on the outside of this other city praying that some day I can win admittance.
I fear I may have to wait forever.