The feelings portrayed in this poem are from bitter personal experience, which was relieved only by penning this piece. By releasing it, I hope that others who might feel the same can gain an understanding that no matter how alone they may feel, there are many others who have come through this to live again.
When you are able to see the light again, look back on this and it will forever be a warning and an awareness that things are not as bad as they might be.
Why does the thought of death
The feeling of ending this life
The torture, the pain, the hurt
The discomfort I cause,
Why does it feel so right?
But the thought of the pain
The mechanics, the method
The hows and wherefores..
Why is that so beyond me,
my abilities, My confidence?
I know I would be better dead
All I care for is others
All I do is hurt others
All I want to do is leave others
To their lives away from me
Is my inability from caring?
Knowing the final act of hurt
The final ability to screw others
To give those who truly care
A pain even I haven't done before?
But they would recover
And they could see it was done
Maybe not consciously, but truly
For the best for them
And therefore the best for me.
Is it fear that stops me?
The inability to take the pain
I couldn't inflict on myself
The yellow man I am,
The quitter, never finishing the Job
So I carry on to conceal the feelings
Trying to do all I can for all
And still I hurt and give pain
Cause confusion wherever I go
That is why I pray to die.
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(c) 1999 Kevin Rose Please respect the rights of the author and Passions in Poetry. If you would like to use this poem on your own web page, please contact the Author. Thank you.
This was wonderful. Literally bought tears to my eyes. You have captured, so wonderfully, the brutality and truthfulness of suicidal feelings. Keep writing, for the love of God! Amazing, truly x
Mirela
Nicely said. :]
hillary
this poem is really good.
Waheed
OMG, This Poem Made me Cry. I Suppoze it did that bcoz i have felt some of these thingz myself.
PhoeniX
I really liked it, If you have anymore you can eamil them to me,i could show you some of mine.
Brittany
I really liked your poem. My very best friend sent it to me because she also wishes she could die. She has tried alot of times to kill herself too. The only thing i can really say is hold your haed up high and have the courage to keep going.
Niki
This poem is exactly how I feel at least once a day. Everyday is a constant struggle to think of one reason to stay amongst the living. I loved this poem. Thank you for writing it.
lisa
wow i really liked this poem. its just like me. the same things ive felt and it just describes them really well. i thought it was great!
crystal
i just like the poem.
Kim
Wow, that amazine it tells what i feel and wat i want to say but just afraid to say it due to fear so it great poem!
Ann
When I read this poem it literally brought tears to my eyes. I just love to write and listen to poetry! Keep writing would love to hear more from you!
colisha
Hi my name is colisha In a moment of darkness I try to remember it is only a "moment" of darkness
Jody
Absolutely amazing!Truly captured the essence of exactly what depression is.
Killer
This is a very moving poem. I shared it with my class one day and they absolutely loved it. It helped me realize so many things. Now i quote stanzas from it.
rach
hey I love this poem. I can relate to it. I have lost so many dear to me and I feel I should die and that i cause pain upon others. i also write poetry. it gets my feelings on paper and out of my head. Great work
John
Every day I look for another reason to live. I care not for myself, but for the others around me. I know death is a release not a solution. I know, from your writting, that there are others that see this as I do. I only hope I either falter and fail or it comes quickly to take me.
Pat
This is the best poem that I have read. It is like the author knew just the way I feel.
keky
THE BEST EVER!
kari
it was cool and touching not that i have had anyonr in my family kill themselves.
Matthew
Its really a great poem i feel like crap all the time and i never want anyone to feel like i do so i am always trying to make others happy even if it means me being sad
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