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About the Poem

I've heard tales of people suddenly realizing that they are in love with their friend. This poem is about the opposite of that experience - It is about my experience with someone who I knew as my lover and then realized that while our relationship would never work, I had found a friend I would cherish forever.

We're Not In Love

So often people say they found their lover in their friend.
I just have to wonder if they’ve found a means to fit their end.
I thought I knew you for so long, but now I’ve come to see
That this man is a stranger, and you don’t remember me.

For the first time in my life I wanted someone I could keep-
To treasure me both heart and soul, to hold me in my sleep.
When I saw you I was overjoyed, my search at last concluded,
Who knew that I would come to find that I was just deluded?

Because as we grew together something still kept us apart,
I have your body and your mind, but I’ll never have your heart.
And I still wish that we could have that true love and forever,
But reality stole my happy ending, leaving me with never.

And if you asked, what would I say?
Would I dare to throw it all away?
Would yes be right? Or is it no?
But we never ask, so on we go.

And still I know that in the end,
You’re not my lover but my friend.
This is the truth that I despise
When I suddenly realize:

We’re not in love.

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© 1999 Tina K Please respect the rights of the author and Passions in Poetry. If you would like to use this poem on your own web page, please contact the Author. Thank you.

34 Visitor Comments

the poem is very real for me my lover that i had been dating told me she loved me but was not in love with me but time heals all wounds. great poem keep it up
It touch me so much. I can actually feel as if it was writtan for me. GREAT !
me and my boyfirend were the same way but now we are the best of friends. I really like this poem bcuz it reminds me of my own!
This poem touched me because I have been dateing this man for 3 years and the more time I spend with him the more I realize I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH HIM!
I loce this poem. It totally applies to my love affair with my lover. Sex brought us together and though at times I wish there were more to our relationship, I dare not bring it up. I'm quite sure we could never be together as a couple, however we are the best of friends.
This poem is so true and was definitely written from the heart.
Beautiful words put together well. Very insperational.
This is an ecellent poem and I can realte to it. Keep up the good work.
Thank you for finally allowing me to express to my ex and dear friend how i truly feel for him. thank you thank you thank you.
Incredible. This is my life exactly. Your poems speak to the soul.
This poem has touched my heart. You have a real gift. I can't put into words how much I love your poem, thank you for sharing it with the world.
i really relate thanks for sharing. i could have never put my feelings on paper like that! your awesome.
this is commom situattion is painful and true!
I think this poem was wonderful. I completely understand what you mean, or at least how I interpreted it. I have been dating a guy for 4 years, we argue a bit too much and he thinks we are better off friends, and i have to be"okay". Right?
I love this poem! It describes my current feelings about this guy I have been dating, to a "T". I think he does love me in a way, but not to the same degree or intensity that I love him. He's a self-admitted "commitment phobe". So sad, because we're both "middle-aged" and I feel that I've found "the one". But he doesn't. It's so confusing and frustrating and emotionally painful. Thank you Tina for writing this and keep up the good work.
I'm in the same situation, it is a beautiful, but somewhat uncertain feeling, your poem was great, it got me
wonderful and true
I just love this poems because i had a relationship with my best friend, it only lasted 4 months and we've know each other since 3rd grade, now we are seniors. And I believe that it wasn't really love for each other as to be together but love as friends and we confused everything and now everything is all gone so I really relate to this poem and besides I loved it!
I love this poem!! It's true because sometimes you may confuse a friendship for a love
Excellent.keep writing!
This poem really hit home in my life right now....its hard to face the truth when it is looking at you eye to eye..
This was a beautiful poem. I have been looking for a poem to describe my feelings for this guy, and look i found it. Thanx for writing sucha beautiful poem and showing it to people. Sincerely, Stephanie
This poem is so beautiful it had me in tears. For this is the conclusion I too was faced with after I married my lover of 8 years and 2 babies later...we are better off as friends. Keep up the good work
I understand your poem. It speaks to me. I would like it if you communicated with me and told me why it is you felt so move to write such words.
I related to this poem..... even though, it breaks my heart.
this poem really hit hope. it was deep.
I loved you poem. I married my lover before I relized he was only a friend and we weren't in love
I was sitting bored out of mind at school, looking for poems. When I came across "We're not in Love" I was totally drawn in. It had great wording, and flow. I printed it off and hung it on my wall. If Tina is reading this, keep up the good work, you are one hell of a writer. Luv, a respected reader.
I like this poem because I have a guy friend that I care so much about. I tell him everyday that I love him but I must realize that "We're Not In Love."
this poem really touches home i have been in the same position and we are now the best of friends and lovers
that poem was really good. i knwo how u feel. if u want u can email me back. i also write lots of poems aboput feeling that way. if u email me i will show u them.
Put my feelings into verse, thank you for showing me that I am not alone and giving me a sense of disclosure with my feelings.

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