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About the Poem

This is about a dark and confusing part of my life, that most of the world goes through.

Continuously Searching

Continuously searching for that field of gold.
Forever looking for someone to hold.
Close to my heart.
Never wanting to be apart.
But all I ever feel is a deep chill.
Wonder if I still have the will.
To live day by day.
I sit and pray.

There has to be someone out there.
But I can't see where.
As the days go by.
I sit and wonder why.
I feel the touch of a hand.
But nothing takes me to that fantasy land.
My soul feels dead and weak.
But still I seek.
For one who shares those simple things.
That lead to those golden rings.

A life of security and family.
It's easy to see.
But to capture it.
I just can't make it fit.
I want that dream so bad.
But my heart's so sad.
People use me for pleasure.
I use them to fill the emptiness,
why I'm not sure.

It used to be easy.
Now it's just sleazy.
There's something wrong with everyone.
If it feels right they're gone by rising sun.
I'm left feeling cold.
That scenes already old.
I want respected.
Not neglected.

I can't let them in.
So I pay the price of sin.
I sit and wait.
But for that life am I to late.
I'm 24.
But I can't take anymore.
I feel raped by life.
It cuts deep as a knife.
There's no one to blame.
I did it to myself and I am in shame.

Wonder who I am.
And if anyone rally gives a damn.
What steps to take.
And a life I'll make.
I pray "God guide me".
Help me be what I want to be.
Stop this pain.
And these days of rain.
Before I can reach that field of gold.
I need to get back the soul I sold.
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© 1999 Tressa Brown Please respect the rights of the author and Passions in Poetry. If you would like to use this poem on your own web page, please contact the Author. Thank you.

6 Visitor Comments

This is errily familiar. it's like having someone inside my head. thank you!
This is a very deep poem. So many people feel this way and try to hide it in so many ways. I also write poetry and I love how you were straight to the point. It's good to know that other people feels like this and is able and willing to admit it and express it. Many of women need to know that they are not alone as far as feeling like this. This poem is excellence and I love it. Keep up the good work. I also look forward to reading more of you poems.
your poem was really good, my eyes were glued to the screen, its very emotional, i am younger than you, a lot, younger but i am going through the same thing, and your poem made me feel a little happier
Very very moving. Powerful. I can read and feel ur feelings. Terrific piece of work.
I'm 30 now and believe me when I tell you this you will I mean will find Mr Right, don't go looking for it, he will come to you when you least expect. Don't feel ashamed feel proud. Loved your poem I just saw myself in your shoes when I was 24.
this is a very true poem.i feel the same way and i'm only 18. keep up the good work

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