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About the Poem

I experienced rape at the age of fourteen. Although I never could quite conceive of this as rape, until four years later. This date rape has not only caused a dramatic shift in my perspective in life, it has also spiritually challenged me to grow as a person. I am a lifelong learner, and find this to be a detour, not something that has scarred me

Faded Dream

A joke
a game
a score for him
turned my life
changing me forever.
maybe I wouldn't have stayed pure
but his deceit
was a dose of the devil
that spread through me
and not easily cured.

His hot sweaty body
muscular and heavy
weighed mine down
and blurred
my already drunk vision.
Telling me "hold tight"
taming my whimpers and squirms,
I closed my eyes in pain.

He took my innocence away
and who's to say
he regrets this day.
He was rewarded
congratulated
for a piece of my life.
I may be bruised inside,
but growing strong
angels
life me above
his poverty in spirit.
Alone I now find
a jewel so clear inside
that never really was taken.
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54 Visitor Comments

Shira
I loved this poem. I am twelve years old, and I understand all too well what it is you've been through.
Caitlin
fantastic poem. it really conveys the feelings that you experience when something as terrible as this happens to you. when i was about eight i was raped by my dads roomates friend. he got off scott free and who knows how many other lifes he's irreparebly altered. now in my late teens this memory affects me more than ever - i'm on anti-deppressant medication. this peom reminded me that i don't have to be alone in my experience. thank-you
Ashlynn
hey i really like this poem on my 16th b-day my best friend for 3 years raped me and my other best friend at different times but on the same day in 2 weeks i have to go to testify against him and my friend wont do it. so in a sense im alone on trying to convict him but im glad to know that there are other people out there who do understand. thankyou for this inspiration.
bina
this is a really good poem. i know its hard to tell people whats going on that is why i to write peoms.
clara
your poems was strong i think it take a strong person to write a poem about what happen to you.
amber
WOW! i am 15 andi have never been raped, but it is one of my biggest fears, i fear being raped and living my life in constant fear and pain than dying or being killed. i feel so bad for you and i hope that this violent act never happens to you again. but i am happy for you because not a lot of people would be able to write about something so terrible. i just hope that you can forget about the bad times and look into what is going to come out of this tragic crisis. i believe that you are strong enough to lift yourself above the evil that has been done to you and go on living your life. and maybe some day you can learn to trust again.i loved the poem though it really meant something to me. -- amber
Nikki
I loved this poem it really touched me. When I was 9 my uncle raped me repeatedly, I was young so I was scared and never told anyone until I was 11 and I told my boyfriend and he got me away from all that I'm still with him today. we're engaged! I was raped by my ex twice ive had an encounter with date rape three times
Christine
it really touched me
Dealing
This touched me so much because i personlay was raped by my best friend . He told me he was comeing over to check on me cause my brother had been in the hospital an i had been home all day alone. I had jus gotten out of the shower and was starightening my hair when he walked in and was messin around like always I came down stairs we talked n he kissed me I was ??like ok?? and then he started forceing himself on me and i tryed to stop him i said NO and it didnt help he jus wouldnt stop. I cant deal with it he was my best friend and all because of that he thought he could do what ever with me
Mercedes
this poem has touched me in many ways i really know how you feel i was raped just a year ago by a cousin i trusted. but i'm still trying to move on.
Devan
This poem touched me deeply, 2 weeks after my 14th birthday, I was raped by a guy I grew up with all my life, I suffered alot of stress and at the time I was goin thru a murder, and 2 car accident which killed my aunt, and my soon-to-be-boyfriend and he was the only one who knew, I went out of town for my aunts funeral and my family noticed something wasnt right, I immediately told 2 of my cousins and as soon as I got home 2 skewl, It was in Oct. and I told at school, the guy is 17 and everyday i still had 2 see him at school, and he has raped 3 other girls, but he is now gone, hopefully forever, sorry about what u went thru, but I luve ur poem!
Becca
This poem really touched me because I know how it feels. When I was 10 years old I was raped by a stranger. I am now 14, and the man was just caught a little while ago. I am going to testify against him soon. This poem , along with various other things, helped me see that I'm not the only one with those feelings. Thank you.
Amanda
Hey, I really like the poem. I was 15 when i got raped by one of my ex bf's brothers an hun trust me it will never ever go away i am turning 19 an it still bothers me each an everyday there is not a day that goes by that something in life reminds me of what has happened to me. It hurts but remember hun we just have to stay strong, keep our heads up an know that it wasnt our fault its jus that people out in this world are psycho's an they are the ones who need help an it is there fault that our childhood our life gets taken away.
vicki
This poem broght back so many painful memories. 25 years ago the same happened to me at 15. Excellant poem
Amanda
When I read this poem it brought back many memories of my chilhood. It is hard to let go of something like this and what you have wrote deeply affects me.
Erica
loved It, say no more
Christine
This poem really got to me. its like someone wrote it just for me. i feel like it has really helped me. Thank you for being strong enough to write about something of this nature. God Bless
samantha
i know how you feel i was 14 aswell it was the day of my 14th birthday it has changed my life forever i'll never forget but you have to learn as hard as it is to move on with life becareful out there watch who you trust.
Morgan
I was repeatidly raped for a year by someone i grew up with so this poem touched me on many different levels. Its a great poem! Morgan
Tiffany
I like your poem. I went thru attemped rape at 12.
Lauren
This poem brought a tears to my eyes am 15 years old and 10 months ago when i was 14 i was raped by my mate and i knew how it felt and when i read the poem is brought back bad memorise and scares me still 10 months on but it made me stronger and more awake around lads.
Hana
i thougth this was a very sensitive poem and one that i can relate to. so i liked it exept for the drunk part.
jessica
omg i loved this poem the same thing, but by my own cousin. who i still see today. i cant even look at him. it still hurts so bad happened to me when i was only 8 years old. i am now 15 and its not something you can just forget or talk about. everytime i think about it start to cry. but once again i loved this poem
Cathal
What a touching poem. Especially to come out stronger after such an experience and to write something so beautiful, conveying that emotion?!? Really Good.
Natasha
I really like your poem i am 14 and i got raped like 7 months ago it really changed my life and i never can forget it.
Ashely
This poem was excellent. Rape is one of my biggest fear. I feel bad for girls who gone through this. I LOVE THIS POEM!
anna
it was a very good poem! i can relate! your not alone! but i was 13!
helpess
When i read your poem i cried. My best friend was just raped. She wont leave her house and wont come to school anymore. I feel so bad and helpless. I dont know what to do. I just want my best friend back.
Alexis
i really liked this poem. I found it true to me. Good job.
Angela
I know how you feel. The same thing happened to me when i was in the orphanage and i was 4 years old. then i came to america cause i got adopted and it happened again when i was 15 years old. now i'm 17 and i'm still struggling. but i really like your poem very touching!
Jennifer
I loved your poem. I can relate because my boyfriend raped me when I was 13. It's something that I will never forget and I used to hurt everday but I'm healing with time. I admire you for having the courage to write your poem. I know that it wasn't easy.
ali
this poems is creat
court
that poem was really sad and close to my heart coz the same thing happened to me a few months ago.
Rachael
It was cool
Rachel
Your poem is beautiful! I know exactly what your going through. It happened to me too except I was about 8 or 9 years old. (Now I'm 12) Now and then I get flashbacks and it scares me to death
Mary
I think your poem was off the hook but it was sad. You are a very strong person and you should stay that way. That is a shame how these grown mens doing this and how teen agers dieing from this but always be strong
tasha
this poem is very powerful and meaningful to me. I experienced this just about a month ago, it's messed everything up, but knowing other people have been through this and has survived it, it's helping me out
lilac
Yo, that was a bangin poem. It was deep to the core. I feel so bad for u cuz this happened at such a young age and that it happened at all, but then again im happy for u cuz it helped u 2 become stronger and to stay strong. I really liked your poem but feel really bad. This poem touched me and i hope it continues to touch others.
Brian
i kn0w exactly how u feel. really this poem made me cry at the memories, thank u for having the courage to write it. i know h0w much it hurts to remember.
jess
your poem was great,it made me cry. the same thing happened to me 3 years ago when i was 14. it's taken me a long time to even say that it was rape. i always blamed myself and it shattered me in me ways i can never fix. i have stopped blaming myself and moved on with my life but it's still with everyday.
Chris
I have to tell you that although i have never met you, you are very very strong. I was raped when I was 14 and am now 20 and. still couldnt bring myself to read your whole poem. I got to the his body part. and had to stop. I will bring myself to read it one day. It's really hard to deal with. especially knowing that you are going to have to bring yourself to be intimate with the one that you love. and that has been duficult. I have a very serious boyfriend, and I still have a hard time falling asleep in his arms at night. It's horrible. He has been great though, and stuck by me, and totally understood. I thank you for writing this poem because it gave a lot of poeple, like myself a chance to express themselves. and I will sometime go back and read it. I am sorry that I cant do it right bow, but I thank you once more. you are a very strong person
Elena
That poem is awesome. i love your style of writing. i am still a virgin and it is very important to me how i will finally loose it,. it is horrorble if it happens like that.
secret
i know what you mean, i am still very young now i am 13 at this day but i was in the same position as you about a year ago i understnad
Angela
Hay your poem was good and that is what happen to me
Amanda
This is a great poem you have written, it's hard to believe people don't show remorse or sadness over something they have done, especially something as horrible as this, keep writing, you have lots of talent
Sh0rTiE
I know exactly what you went through, this same thing happened to me, and it hurt deeply. It changed me, i now have problems trusting people, and i hide things deep inside. No one knows about this except for my best friend... she also went through it, and i was there when she went through it, but i walked in too late to stop him from doing it ot her... so was so messed up i had to help her walk home... it hurt me that i didnt walk in on time!
Jessica
I can realte to this poem so very well. I am a poet and I find myself writing about my experiences. They hurt and they also drag me down... but I have found out the hard way that you have to stay strong. What don't kill you can ONLY make you stronger. I was raped when I was 12 (I am 15 now) and had a lot of guilt and anger at the same time. He was 32 and "talked" me into it. I am still trying to make the decision to put this man in jail, it's taken this long for the DNA to come back. I didn't try to push him off of me and I was and am very mature for my age... I felt like I knew what was going on and didn't want to stop it. But I know NOW that he is the one that made me feel that way. I want to thank you for writing such a beautiful poem, and I know it isn't hard to write the poetry but it is to share it... Keep it up, it makes ! you stronger to let go if thingsā€¦
lesley
this is a good poem. so sad and hurtful. i'm proud of you to be able to force yourself to live even through all the pain you have suffered. you are a strong person.
Jenny
Very brilliant poem, I wish that there were more women out there telling us of their experiences
ender
wow. just a month and a half ago my best friend told me that she had been raped when she was 12, and this poem expresses the emotions that she tried so hard to share with me.
Mel
It hurts, and it scars, mentally and physically. This poem expresses it. Thankyou for having the strength to write about this.
Elysia
wow you really hit the spot on this poem. I was raped on new year's of 2000 when I was under the influence of alcohol...I was a virgin too, I know exactly how it feels. Thank you for that poem, it helps to know that there are others who have gone through this and decide to still live life in a positive way =)
ROSE
I REALLY LIKE THIS POEM ALOT. I HAVE BEEN THROUGH ALOT IN LIFE AND SOMETIMES YOU SIT AND THINK THAT THERE IS NO TOMORROW THAT YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LIVE FOR. I REALLY LIKE THIS POEM BECAUSE YOU HAD FAITH AND BELIVED THAT YOU DONT HAVE TO LIVE YOUR LIFE IN HELL FOR SOMEONE ELES WHEN YOU DONT DESERVE THAT I'M REALLY GLAD THAT YOU WERE STRONG AND PULLED THROUGH THANX!! I'M 15 AND HAVE A LIL STORY TO TELL.
holly
i thought this a very good poem it tells people to be strong when thing like that hppened

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