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About the Poem

The feelings portrayed in this poem are from bitter personal experience, which was relieved only by penning this piece. By releasing it, I hope that others who might feel the same can gain an understanding that no matter how alone they may feel, there are many others who have come through this to live again.

When you are able to see the light again, look back on this and it will forever be a warning and an awareness that things are not as bad as they might be.

Prayer For The Living

Why does the thought of death
The feeling of ending this life
The torture, the pain, the hurt
The discomfort I cause,
Why does it feel so right?

But the thought of the pain
The mechanics, the method
The hows and wherefores..
Why is that so beyond me,
my abilities, My confidence?

I know I would be better dead
All I care for is others
All I do is hurt others
All I want to do is leave others
To their lives away from me

Is my inability from caring?
Knowing the final act of hurt
The final ability to screw others
To give those who truly care
A pain even I haven't done before?

But they would recover
And they could see it was done
Maybe not consciously, but truly
For the best for them
And therefore the best for me.

Is it fear that stops me?
The inability to take the pain
I couldn't inflict on myself
The yellow man I am,
The quitter, never finishing the Job

So I carry on to conceal the feelings
Trying to do all I can for all
And still I hurt and give pain
Cause confusion wherever I go
That is why I pray to die.
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© 1999 Kevin Rose Please respect the rights of the author and Passions in Poetry. If you would like to use this poem on your own web page, please contact the Author. Thank you.

91 Visitor Comments

i must say that when it comes to poetry, i am not very good at all, something about this poes toched me and im not sure why. This is a beautifully written poem and one i understood.
I enjoyed this poem. It moved me in away that makes me feel my own. My own pain, my own hurt, my own life you'll never know.
I understans this and where tour comming fron I been there I doing Better now But I havent forgot where i was
This totally describes how I feel right now. It was amazing.
kevin, you have told my story! i love it so much i wish i could be a great poeit like you keep it up !
This was wonderful. Literally bought tears to my eyes. You have captured, so wonderfully, the brutality and truthfulness of suicidal feelings. Keep writing, for the love of God! Amazing, truly x
Nicely said. :]
this poem is really good.
OMG, This Poem Made me Cry. I Suppoze it did that bcoz i have felt some of these thingz myself.
I really liked it, If you have anymore you can eamil them to me,i could show you some of mine.
I really liked your poem. My very best friend sent it to me because she also wishes she could die. She has tried alot of times to kill herself too. The only thing i can really say is hold your haed up high and have the courage to keep going.
This poem is exactly how I feel at least once a day. Everyday is a constant struggle to think of one reason to stay amongst the living. I loved this poem. Thank you for writing it.
wow i really liked this poem. its just like me. the same things ive felt and it just describes them really well. i thought it was great!
i just like the poem.
Wow, that amazine it tells what i feel and wat i want to say but just afraid to say it due to fear so it great poem!
When I read this poem it literally brought tears to my eyes. I just love to write and listen to poetry! Keep writing would love to hear more from you!
Hi my name is colisha In a moment of darkness I try to remember it is only a "moment" of darkness
Absolutely amazing!Truly captured the essence of exactly what depression is.
This is a very moving poem. I shared it with my class one day and they absolutely loved it. It helped me realize so many things. Now i quote stanzas from it.
hey I love this poem. I can relate to it. I have lost so many dear to me and I feel I should die and that i cause pain upon others. i also write poetry. it gets my feelings on paper and out of my head. Great work
Every day I look for another reason to live. I care not for myself, but for the others around me. I know death is a release not a solution. I know, from your writting, that there are others that see this as I do. I only hope I either falter and fail or it comes quickly to take me.
This is the best poem that I have read. It is like the author knew just the way I feel.
it was cool and touching not that i have had anyonr in my family kill themselves.
Its really a great poem i feel like crap all the time and i never want anyone to feel like i do so i am always trying to make others happy even if it means me being sad
I really liked it but makes me sad to know someone knows how I feel I want to help them and make lfe better for the poet
Great poem. When you've reached that point of depression, you question what it is from keeping you from that final step. Having been there, you touch on all the emotions perfectly.
tears fall at the finding of words to describe how I feel at last, a little ray of light now that I know someone else has the same feelings.
I can empathise with these words, wanting to hurt others, to let them feel the pain you feel, but being too 'yellow. ' Knowing that you cannot follow it through. Touching and really capturing the confused mind state.
thankyou for helping me understand my feelings and also causing tears of mingled sadness and joy to fall from my hollow, lifeless eyes. i needed that. Your writing is fantastic.
i really liked it and i encourage you to keep writting poetry.
This really brought tears to my eyes . I have an online friend who I have never met . he is in his late teens . In the past week he has called me up twice in the early hours of the morning to say goodbye . one final time. The first time I almost went mad because I know he stays very close to me but with friends whose names I did not know. So I could not call the police and I needed way too many tranquilisors to be able to sleep after that. I spent most of the next moring phoning hospitals and was just about to move on to the morgues when he phoned me to say sorry and that his housemate had woken up at just the right time and spoken to him until he was calmer. By the time he phoned me the 2nd time, I knew the complex he was living on and phoned them to go stop him . which they did. He is now very angry with me and told me afterwards that he was never going to do it (after first telling me he could not do it). I have no idea what troubles he has in his life but all I know is when he phoned me to say goodbye that last time he was crying so hard he could not speak properly . and that emotion was real . I am so scared he will try it again and am reading depressing poems to try and get inside his head . I know I never will but I sure have to try . what if nobody else is willing to try ?
Good Poem
i really liked your poem. i get depressed easliy and yours made me realize a lot of things. i know the pain you went through because ihave had some of the same thoughts that you have had. nice job
this poem is exactly what is going on in my life. you put it into words like i never could or ever will be able to. thank you
i can really relate to this poem thank you for writeing it and make me feel like i'm not the only one.
I feel like Kevin wrote that poem for me after visiting my mind for a while.
A stunning poem, and it explains perfectly why i am still here too, I've never managed to find the words to use, but this poem will do all the explaining for me. Thankyou for this.
from 1-10 i give this poem a 13. it touched me in a way that i cant explain. i used to pray to god that i would die too.
i think that it is a great poem it put wat i felt into words.
This poem made me cry for 4 hours, my best friend found out I have been dangorusly unhappy and felt like sending me this, I can only say "thank you" to him and to this writer, I have never been so touched EVER! I just want to leave like it is in the poem and I want to be out of the way. But now. I love me and my life I just want to say I love my b-friend Joshua and to thank him. he's always been there, and I love him!
this poem really touched me because ican see all of that in me. it expresses what i feel in a away i could never do
very interesting poem. am kinda experienced with family suicide. this is a very touching poem though, it strikes me off, but still very deep thought and very good i think
I have already sent a personal message to Kevin. He has expressed exactly everything I feel. as if I was the one writing this piece of work.
OMG I can really relate to your poem. It is good to know that I am not alone. Thank you so much for sharing this poem. I could not even begin to tell you how much it has helped me.
Thanks alot, it must take a lot for you to be able to share your problems with others, i too have been feeling like this for quite a while now, i don't know exactly why and i'm not exactly sure anyone cares but ur poem lets me know that i'm not the only one that has these thoughts and feelings thank you for lettin' me know it's not only me.
Great Poem, Very Touching. Have you heard Good Charlotte - Hold On. Great song about Suicide awareness. Ever since that song me & my band have wanted to make another Suicde awareness song. Do you know any websites that have got poems about suicide awareness in?
omg. ive been reading alot of poems on this site. and none have ever been so close to home as this one. its really honest. ilove it. it describes my personal feelings perfectly. i have to say thankyuo for this poem
This poem is how I feel all the time like I'm huting the people around me. I liked it alot.
my words. exactly.
omg. "never finishing the Job". that was my excuse. ever seen a man cry?. stop staring. that is one of the best poems by far.
i think it was great , i mean you can feel the emotion flowing on it
Your poem was great! I have been depressed for the past 3 months and I could really relate to your poem. Thanks!
Amazing poem. understanding the dark secret of wanting to die.
Your poem is very stunning! It has frozen me in fear. It depicts exactly how I feel/think/long for. I love this poem, it truly ministers to me.
This poem was right on the money. My thoughts once again.
I love your poem and I can totaly relate to it. thanks for sharing!
Wow this is an amazing poem it hits me it's exactly how i feel. I've been taking blame for others and causing all the pain and i've been praying just to die. This poem touches me like nothing before. Thank-you
Your poem touched me greatly and filled my soul with understanding to know that i am not the only person who feels the way i do. I wish that u find true happiness.
Hey, that poem soley expressed what I was going through over spring break.Thnks for writing such a strong poem.
I liked your poem.
These words described me very well. And my friends wonder why? But o'well at least i know someone else feels this way.
this was an excellent poem. tears came to my eyes when i read it, and i really think this could help other people as well. beautifully chosen words. i loved it
That was an amazing poem. I feel the same way. Thanks for writing it out.
i like this peom a lot because it reminds me of my best friend lisa has been going through and i care about her a lot thanxs this peom means a lot to me
i understand where you're coming from. i felt the same way, although i could never express it quite like you have done.
I have never seen anything that described the way i felt like this poem before! It was beautifully written. I just wanna say that i have finally gotten out of my depression after 3 long years with the help of Jesus. Without Him, I would still be stuck in hell.
these words describe me exactly, i feel i need to die, but dont want to hurt others in the process.
It as if you took my thoughts and put them into words that I could have never expressed.
What you pray for, you might receive. Death is better than long life suffering. Those around me, especially those dear to me are holding me to this life. Several times someone very close to me attempted suicide & because of that I had to change my life. Suicide runs in the family, so sometimes I wonder why I did not go all the way - I guess I'm lucky God found me
a moment passing, a moment in our lives. Blessed Be
I'm in a really bad situation right now and I just wrote the saddest poem ever but oyurs is more than perfect its something that is so personal and yet so shared. I love you for it
i understand u b/c im going thrighu the same. i hope u r living ur life to the fulliest and feeling better about urself!
dude that was sooo deep. and i respect, u very much to express yourself so well and detailed.
You touched my soul with this poem. I thought that no-one knew how I felt. I have been unable to cry for ages, the pain just crawling in my mind, eating my sanity. Now my tears run free. Thank you. You saved my life.
wow.thoughts i never could really express, put right there in front of me. Articulate, thoughtful, meaningful.I'm impressed
Your poem said a lot about how I feel. I don't think I can ever do right or make anyone happy. everyday I wake up wanting to die. Thank you for writting a poem that I can relate too. I'm not that talented to get my feelings out and reading about the same feelings I have kind of helps deal with the pain.
as I type tears are streaming down my've described the pain I feel. I'm screaming but there is never anyone around to hear me!
I'm speechless. This is so totally what I feel and think that it sounds like something I would have written if I had any talent whatsoever with words.
I understand exactly what you said. This is a brilliant poem.
this is exactly how i feel aboout life
Well this peom touched my heart because everyword that dripped from that pen seems like it was writting my feelings. This has a lot of feeling put into it and is a wonderful well written poem.
I thought that was an awesome poem!!!!
i thought that this poem was really good and really well written it relates to me a lot and it brought a tear to my eye to know that sumone feels the same kind of pain that im goin through
I know how you feel I feel like that alot these days your poem is my thought but put into word I loved it and hope Kevin writes more
All I have to say is: I understand
This poem described exactly how I was feeling a little while ago. It brought back things I didn't want to think about, but it truly is an amazing poem. It really brings the reader in so they can experience what goes on inside a suicidal person's head.
this poem touched me so much. it is exactly what i am feeling only i couldn't express it like you did. it made me think a lot about my life and others.
The nights I've lied awake in my bad all alone i think is there any one who can say things that i keep inside that i would never tell the rest of the world for the feaar that i may be called crazy that i may said to want to hurt some one when that is not at all what i want i just want to end every ones disapointment for itis all because of me. you are the one who can do so for me

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