This poem was retrieved by a friend and he recommended that I distribute it to the rest of the world, even though it that not my bag. It is about my deep heartfelt love for someone untouchable to myself and the struggle of which I felt.
I can't take it any more.
Your driving me insane.
I think of you ever morning when I awaken
and it doesn't stop there.
No, the spell you have cast on me
makes me think of you every hour
and ever minute of every day.
I think of you before I sleep
and even then I am not safe.
you sneak into my dreams. And you haunt me there.
Your hair is like rays of golden sunlight
spilling down your back.
Your eyes so blue they are like pools
of the clearest and purest waters
piercing through me into my soul
and reading my innermost thoughts.
Your smile is like a thousand spring mornings
when the sun first comes up over the horizon
and blesses the land with its light;
you warm me like the sun
when your smile falls upon my face.
I would just like to hold you in my arms
for hours
and let you envelop me in your warmth.
When I first noticed your beauty
I was so taken aback I had to sit down
and ever since that time
you have haunted my thoughts
with your beautiful smile
and the sound of your voice.
Every time I see you in the hall
it is more of an effort
to keep my breathing regular
and keep from weeping
from your sheer beauty
and thanking the lord
for ever letting me meet you.
Every little thing you do
is an amazement to me
and I just want to sit
and watch you for hours.
And yet since I had someone ask
what you thought of me
my life has been going down hill.
"I just like him as a friend"
is what you said
and with those words
you drove a sword into my heart
and left it there.
Now every time I see you,
you seem to avoid me
and avoid my advances
and even talking to me
and every time you
do that you just twist the sword
in my heart deeper.
It hasn't been the same between us since.
Despite the amount I care for you,
you care every bit less
and that hurts so much sometimes
I can't even eat or sleep
for the pain and longing in my heart.
For instance
when we were at dinner with friends Saturday, when I went to greet you,
you hardly cared enough to say hello
and all I could see was you laughing
and shoving the sword ever deeper.
From then on during the party
you avoided talking to me
and shoved it forever deeper.
Do you know how much that hurts me inside?
Well the only 'good' thing
it did
was give me the most aggression
I have ever had on the basketball court,
and for the first time
in ten years of playing basketball
in a league - I fouled out.
I was so mad at everything.
That night at the dinner table
all I did was just slump
and stare at my food getting cold
as you have made my heart.
I did not eat anything,
for the pain deep within my stomach
and in my heart.
When my friends came over later
and tried to cheer me up
because I was so down
it didn't work
because all I could think about was you
and the pain.
How can someone care for you so much
and you just cause pain
such sharp biting pain
in my heart.
What happened to us
were you just toying with me?
trying to make me think I had a chance
and then just watch me wither and die
over you?
Well I'm not going to let you
do that to me anymore
if that's the way you're going to be
then I will give up all hope.
and move on with my life
because no one thinks you are worth it
and I'm starting to agree with them
because you were ruining my life.
But
no
more will I endure this pain.
I can't.
It's making everyone upset
and worried for me.
Yes, the people that really care
about me, you won't take them away from me
because I'm being so damn depressed.
I'm writing this
just to tell you how I feel
and say this is your last chance
because as much as I care for you
and about you,
you will not ruin my life any more.
I will treat you like a queen,
and will expect only that you love me
in return.
I almost already love you
but not any more
I did and I can again.
Last chance, my dear.
I just think I can't go on like this.
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(c) 1999 Todd R Fussell Please respect the rights of the author and Passions in Poetry. If you would like to use this poem on your own web page, please contact the Author. Thank you.
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this is a very good poem. and it was really touching.
amanda
oh my god i wish i was kristen to have someone love as much as you love her i would forever be in your arms if i was kristen good luck
anna
What an awesome poem! That really got to me as Ive been in that feeling of inner turmoil over someone myself. I hope that you are feeling better and realise that you deserve the best!
sage
Its unbleiveable how much you can like or love a person and they just turn you away and murder your deepest feelings its just cruelity. Sorry ya had to go through it but good way of explaining it.
kindalin
omg im about to cry!i feel abit like that atm to. we have alot in common. i play basketball,and for the first time a little whileago i got fauled off!and i hate getting sad over some boy,but i dont think im reeady to give up yet. that has been one of the best poems i have ever read!xxx
sam
your poem was great. i never knew guys had that much of feelings. i went through the same thing even though i am a girl and talking about some guy and it was probley a little different, but hey o well still good.
Claire
wow . thats all i can say. im speechless.
jady
oHhH MYyY GoD! baby that was the most indeepth, touching thing i think i have ever read. Baby she must be blind, you sound so sweet n caring.
Kristen
Wow, you really scared me there for a moment. My name is Kristen, I do have blonde hair, and in my freshman year of high school, I broke up with my childhood sweetheart. His name is extremely similar to yours, Todd, only a few letters are different. You made me cry as I thought of how behaved at this time. To tell you the truth, I could've sworn this was my ex until you started talking about basketball, which he doesn't play. You've opened my eyes to his feelings. I hope you and your Kristen work out.
Stephanie
I just love this poem. Right now i feel like crying cuz its soo sad. A girl u like A LOT doesn't like u the same. I soft of feel ur pain, i still like my ex-boyfriend a lot even tho we went out for like 3 weeks but he was like i dunno how to explain it he treat me soooo WONDERFUL. He doesn't know i still like him but i HOPE he still likes me and i hope he regets breaking up with me but yeah ANYWHO i love ur poem if u write anymore please send them to me. love, a BIG fan
brittney
it's great i feel pulled to it some how i don't know! i really hope this isn't a true poem b*c even though i don't know you judging by this poem you deserve better. i know a girl kristen and she is just like this if this poem is based on your true life experience i'm truly sorry, and you do deserve better!
Julia
OMG this poem makes me weep its so good! Reminds me of a guy i once wanted who still holds a piece of my heart with him. I LOVE IT! Keep writing.
Danielle
I really enjoyed this poem alot I know the feeling of being regeted and still having to see the person walk down the halls. Its does really hurt. And to have someone play with your heart it really does just make you want to scream. The only thing I could do was to pray for all the pain to go away. Thanks for posting this poem it really was an amazing piece of work I enjoyed every word.
Kayla
This is a very good poem. I feel the same way. I treated this guy just like a king, and in 2 weeks he dumped me for another girl. After all I did for him! Im so sad. I hope you keep writing, cause your d*** good!
dana
i thought this story was so sweet! i started crying! some poeple are like that and it is sad!
Nathalie
this is such a beautiful poem ! it really touches me ! it touches my heart, my feelings. the comparisons are awesome and i think that you are really gifted ! keep on writing poems !
Ally
Wow great poem it really helped see the view of someone else there is this guy who loves me and he sounds just like you thanx for sharing your poem it helped me see even more what my friend is feeling
Adam
I Love This Poem, It is so heartwarming, but then it becomes so vigourating, it makes me think of a girl i wanted to date named Cristen, same name just spelled different, what a coincidence huh? well nice poem.
Megan
Wow! That poem really hit me. I can almost feel the pain that he was feeling just by the way he was describing it. Wow!
Greg
I love this poem because i can relate to what the author is saying
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