About the Poem
This poem was retrieved by a friend and he recommended that I distribute it to the rest of the world, even though it that not my bag. It is about my deep heartfelt love for someone untouchable to myself and the struggle of which I felt.
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|by Todd R Fussell|
I can't take it any more.
Your driving me insane.
I think of you ever morning when I awaken
and it doesn't stop there.
No, the spell you have cast on me
makes me think of you every hour
and ever minute of every day.
I think of you before I sleep
and even then I am not safe.
you sneak into my dreams. And you haunt me there.
Your hair is like rays of golden sunlight
spilling down your back.
Your eyes so blue they are like pools
of the clearest and purest waters
piercing through me into my soul
and reading my innermost thoughts.
Your smile is like a thousand spring mornings
when the sun first comes up over the horizon
and blesses the land with its light;
you warm me like the sun
when your smile falls upon my face.
I would just like to hold you in my arms
and let you envelop me in your warmth.
When I first noticed your beauty
I was so taken aback I had to sit down
and ever since that time
you have haunted my thoughts
with your beautiful smile
and the sound of your voice.
Every time I see you in the hall
it is more of an effort
to keep my breathing regular
and keep from weeping
from your sheer beauty
and thanking the lord
for ever letting me meet you.
Every little thing you do
is an amazement to me
and I just want to sit
and watch you for hours.
And yet since I had someone ask
what you thought of me
my life has been going down hill.
"I just like him as a friend"
is what you said
and with those words
you drove a sword into my heart
and left it there.
Now every time I see you,
you seem to avoid me
and avoid my advances
and even talking to me
and every time you
do that you just twist the sword
in my heart deeper.
It hasn't been the same between us since.
Despite the amount I care for you,
you care every bit less
and that hurts so much sometimes
I can't even eat or sleep
for the pain and longing in my heart.
when we were at dinner with friends Saturday, when I went to greet you,
you hardly cared enough to say hello
and all I could see was you laughing
and shoving the sword ever deeper.
From then on during the party
you avoided talking to me
and shoved it forever deeper.
Do you know how much that hurts me inside?
Well the only 'good' thing
was give me the most aggression
I have ever had on the basketball court,
and for the first time
in ten years of playing basketball
in a league - I fouled out.
I was so mad at everything.
That night at the dinner table
all I did was just slump
and stare at my food getting cold
as you have made my heart.
I did not eat anything,
for the pain deep within my stomach
and in my heart.
When my friends came over later
and tried to cheer me up
because I was so down
it didn't work
because all I could think about was you
and the pain.
How can someone care for you so much
and you just cause pain
such sharp biting pain
in my heart.
What happened to us
were you just toying with me?
trying to make me think I had a chance
and then just watch me wither and die
Well I'm not going to let you
do that to me anymore
if that's the way you're going to be
then I will give up all hope.
and move on with my life
because no one thinks you are worth it
and I'm starting to agree with them
because you were ruining my life.
more will I endure this pain.
It's making everyone upset
and worried for me.
Yes, the people that really care
about me, you won't take them away from me
because I'm being so damn depressed.
I'm writing this
just to tell you how I feel
and say this is your last chance
because as much as I care for you
and about you,
you will not ruin my life any more.
I will treat you like a queen,
and will expect only that you love me
I almost already love you
but not any more
I did and I can again.
Last chance, my dear.
I just think I can't go on like this.