About the Poem
This poem is about the pain and confusion I felt when my best friend told me that the guy I was falling in love with was still in love with her. For some reason, even though I knew it wasn't her fault, I felt this burning anger toward her, not toward him. I was confused and my head was spinning, I couldn't even reason with myself or her or my feelings. I cried for an hour, and then I wrote this poem.
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I hate my life, I should have known
That you'd love her, leave me,
Why I ever thought you'd love me
I, myself, will never know
Drowning in my tears of sorrow
I try not to let it show
I know it's not her fault you love her
But I can't hide my hate for her right now
I've lived in her shadow for as long as I remember
Alone, unloved, yet surviving, somehow
When she told me that you still loved her
I thought I'd die right there and then
The happiness in her voice,
Cutting through my soul, my skin
I didn't realize how much I loved you
The pain I felt was strong, disabling.
All I could see was the smile on her face
The anger, ripping, tearing, nauseating.
I know I won't stop loving you,
No matter how hard I try
I don't know if I'll ever really
I always feel a hate for her inside
Sitting here now, I don't know how to feel -
Sadness, Hatred, Despair
I'm not sure
Why does this always happen to me
This is a pain that no one deserves.