About the Poem
My dad coughed up some blood in January this year. Four days later we were told that he had lung cancer. There was a 6- centimeter diameter mass growing on an inoperable part of his lung and there was break away cancer in his liver.
My dad did not look or feel sick. My dad died last month, and I held his hand while he drifted away.
He was a warm caring man with a big heart. He used to wipe away my tears with his strong hands. I wrote the following poem while my dad was sick and read it at his funeral. It will reveal to you my selfishness.
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He Must Have Life
I don't wish for death to ease his pain
I am too selfish for that
He must have life
I must be able to hear of his life
He must continue to sing to me
I need to see his beautiful baby blues
sparkle and shine
I don't want to just remember these things
Even in his pain they sparkle and shine
I need him to be here to show me who I am
To show me where I came from
If he left, part of me would leave
I would be someone different
I need to touch and hug him
To let him know how important he is
I don't want to remember these things
To feel the pain that I will feel
when my memories of him start to fade
I want him here with us
I want him here with no pain
I love you, my Dad
All through my troubled and sad childhood,
through my rebellious adolescence and through adulthood,
I always knew that you loved me
I hope you knew that I always loved you too